I am still getting used to seeing humilty as an opportunity to be closer to God. For most of my life humility has been interpreted as humiliation. In taking an honest look at myself and the character defects that need to be removed,

I’m such a slow learner. I need to get agitated and make myself (and my loved ones) miserable before it clicks that something needs to change. Sometimes I think a humans skill of adaptability is a fault. I tend to live way too long in discontent and continual disturbance and frustration before I say, enough! Help! Ego likes to trick me into thinking perfection is key and when I think perfection is a necessary to be, other than an ideal to strive for, I forget that God is the one and only perfect entity. I think I can control outcomes and circumstances according to my will, completely throwing God’s will out the window of opportunity.

The chief activator of my character defects is self-centered fear. Fear of losing something I already had or fear of missing out on something I think I need. There is no peace until I can find a way of reducing these demands I make. Simple ego-reductions are:

1. Praise and Worship to God. This reminds us who is sovereign and whose will we should be following.

2. Serving others. By listening to another’s problems or helping someone through a difficult time allows our time and energy to be spent on someone else, therefore, less likely to remain self-centered.

3. Be open to improvements and critiques. When we create open communication for others to share their thoughts on our behavior or circumstance, the better opportunity for God to work through someone for us.

When we can maintain a reduced ego we are free from the negativity and fear that hold us back from fulfillling God’s will for our life. What ego-reduction do you need to practice?

Reviewing the past to the point of obsession or projecting the future to the point of worry does me no good in the present moment. One clear way to manage the past is to have real, cleansing forgiveness which also means to forget. It isn’t forgiveness if you are still remembering the hurts, still obsessing about the situation, not REALLY letting go of the hurt feelings toward the person you claim to forgive. And is it just me, but the harder you force yourself to forgive, the less forgiving you feel?

In order to truly forgive I have to make it a process. I wasn’t blessed with having a forgiving, soft heart. I grew up jaded, angry and scared. This is probably textbook forgiveness to “normal” people, but for me, I like things spelled out!

First I need to invite God into the situation and admit I am not in my right mind. Admit I’m upset and why I’m upset and who I’m upset with. This usually leads to a realization that the situation or person I’m upset with affected my self-esteem, security or ambitions. When those things are threatened, I get scared. Since the opposite of fear is faith, when we resent someone or something we aren’t living in faith. When we are unable to let go of hurts we aren’t living in the sunlight of the spirit, we aren’t able to recognize God’s blessing’s in our life, instead we are consumed with fear or remorse or paralysis and laziness and we certainly aren’t fulfilling God’s purpose for our life.

Try listing your hurts. List the causes. Examine what area of your life was affected. Then honestly examine if you were selfish, dishonest, self-seeking or afraid in the situation. You may just realize you not only need to forgive, but you may need to ask God’s forgiveness for a lack of faith and trust in Him.

“Surrender to God’s will does not give us a passport to inertia. Each of us must try to carry out God’s will, which He transmits to us in ways we recognize only after we have made ourselves willing and aware.”

“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs fom their heartfelt advice.” Proverbs 27:9

At the core of Evergreen’s beliefs is our need and desire to be relational with God. Having a close personal friendship with Him allows us the safety and security of recognizing unconditional love, even in a world where you are accepted only as long as you do exactly what people want. Having a strong relationship with God helps us to have healthy relationships with others.

A good visual to keep God with me at all times is to open the door for Him. When I am walking into a meeting, a store, work, home or church, I will pause for a split second and hold the door open for God to walk through, thus inviting Him into the room and into the situation before myself, my needs or desires. I didn’t grow up with a strong relationship with God, I felt His presence but denied my love, feeling too angry at my circumstances. I was disobedient for a long time.

The beauty and grace that God gives us through unconditional love is meeting us where we are at. He recognizes we are disobedient and it breaks His heart, but it doesn’t make Him love us any less. Try it today. Hold the door open for God and let Him in to work His will in your day.

In Minnesota we are blessed with the changing seasons in weather and climate; brisk, blustery sunshine against stark, bare trees is what we are afforded in November (always with a ‘chance of snow’!) Our spiritual growth and health goes through seasons as well. Some mirror our Minnesota climate; giddy round springtime, lazy through a summer breeze, silent and tense during the winter blizzard. Our moods and emotional seasons sometimes mirror our Minnesota climate.

When I get into a season of darkness there are warning signs to the wall I will soon hit, two of them are:
1. Irritability over small details.
2. Desire to people please.

These two feelings lead to restlessness, discontentment and a disconnect with God, even when I’m attending small group, devoting morning meditation and study time, serving my guts out at church. Seemingly doing ALL the right things.

When in this dark season too long I allow fear to creep in and the escapism starts to surface. Dreams of living in a bus in Alaska sound good, stolling a deserted island sounds better. Fear that I will do something wrong, wreck something awful, paralyzes me into not performing my very best.

During this dark season, I have gotten into ego-driven thinking and forgetful of the most important element: God and His design and where my life fits into His design.

The further along your spiritual pathway, the signals and the seasons are shortened tremendously. A boss suggests a day off, we can humbly accept. Remember to say NO. And the ever-elusive, “It is NONE of my business what YOU think of me,” is a good slogan to drill into everyday thinking. A time to rest allows us to get back into gear, on the right path and moving forward, which usually involves joy.

Don’t smack into that wall of fear. Stop. Rest. Pray. Get moving again. And when you do, you’ll find that God just may have cleared your path.

“A discerning person keeps wisdom in view, but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth.” Proverbs 17:24

I was helping to choose some of our music for our new series, Hot Potato (November 6-27th) at Evergreen (Sundays 9&11). Sorry, my bad- gotta plug it whereva and wheneva, it’s a GREAT series and you DO NOT want to miss a single week- for those of you that can’t be at church, PLEASE listen all month online! (Okay, I’m done with the plug.:))

Anyway, we were looking for ‘secular’ music with a positive message and popular beat. I’m usually someone who will listen to music for the beat’s sake, not so much for the lyrics. Foster the People came to mind with their overplayed ‘Pumped up Kicks.’ I mean, c’mon, a name like ‘Foster the People’ can’t be bad, right?…a sticks in your head all day till you want to scream kinda beat, but popular none the less! So, I suggested it and we researched their lyrics…let’s just say a song about killing in various forms isn’t exactly the kind of atmosphere we want to create in our ministry. They sure ‘foster’ something, but…Yeah…that one didn’t make the cut.

Later that same day I was told to watch this ‘very cute clip’ on the ‘Ellen Show.’ Cool, she’s funny. So I checked this ‘sweet’ clip of two YOUNG girls (5 & 8) singing and dancing to a Niki Minoj song. Hmm, again, with the inappropriate lyrics! “Hell” and “Whore” shouldn’t be in children’s vocabulary, that is a no-brainer, head shaker for me. The “real” Niki came out and these girls flipped out like Jesus had come back to save them. Their parents were crying and going on about dreams coming true…and the person who showed me the clip was like, “oh, isn’t that sweet? Oh, it’s such a good message, so inspiring that Niki would come and tell these girls, they have what it takes, giving them encouraging words.” All I could think is, oh…crap. We have some MAJOR work to do here on Earth.

One of the most important things we, as Christians, need to do is to stay current on what is going on in the world, be aware of the messages getting inundated into our culture, but under no circumstances should we allow ourselves to become desensitized to what kind of environment, atmosphere, or teachings we are involved in. I cannot fault non-believers for their un-Christ-like behavior. I don’t need to JUDGE anyone’s behavior or opinions. But I do need to have wisdom and DISCERNMENT for what behaviors and opinions are true for me as a Christian and for our ministry as followers in Christ. Three things we can do to ensure our continuing wisdom and walk on the narrow path:
1. PRAYER (and time to listen)
2. STUDY THE BIBLE (listening to leaders, participating in small groups and working a reading plan)
3. PRACTICE COMPASSION (through serving at home, church and work.)

We will make mistakes. We will sin. But guaranteed, working these three things into our daily existence will improve our constant contact with God, help us realize our purpose, and keep us on the path that our journey is meant to be on. Believe me when I say, You got what it takes.

I remember the exact day I went insane. I was volunteering as Director of Children’s Ministry at Evergreen and working full time in Minneapolis. It was the morning of Saturday, September 18th, Evergreen’s fall launch and the launch of our third service on Saturday evenings. My nerves were humming while I finished preparations with the curriculum and finalizing the volunteer support. God piped up while I was lathering my hair in the shower.

“You know, you are going to have to leave your job at the Y cause I’m planning some things in this church. Get Ready.” I began to cry.

Instant denial. I said, “Umm. No. Are you crazy God?! John’s not working. We have student loans. We have no money. And I’m supposed to quit my job and make it all worse? Yeah. No.”
God’s reply, “Just wait.”

Okay. I’ll wait. Wait for the crazy vision in my head to go away and my sanity to return.

In less than a year we had our student loans paid, my husband working, savings built up. I quit my job, practiced patience. Simple but not easy. One day at a time. Heart checks and fear attacking every other week. But God was right. For the first time I did not ignore the vision God gave me for my life. I am taking the responsiblity to daily ask for His vision. My identity in Christ is focussed. Strong. Healthier than any other time in life. I get to help Evergreen’s ministry further God’s work in Pine County. I’m still crazy. But in a good way. In God’s way. What vision are you going to take responsibility to ask for?

I’ve lived with the emotion Fear for most of my life. It manifested itself in numerous ways, mainly anger, procrastination and denial. Denial is the worst. The human condition is so good at twisting reality, we can pretty much think whatever we want and trick ourselves into a life God didn’t want for us. I have lived through Proverbs 5:21-23 “For a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths. The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.” I would have died from my lack of discipline. Too many people are led astray by their own great folly. My drug of choice was food but dontcha know I loved me some alcohol to further the fantasy and a good shopping spree to deepen the denial that I did not have it all together. When I read that Americans are estimated to spend $604 billion going out to eat and then another $5.9 billion on weight loss products it seems like a fat waste of money, and not very disciplined.
When the bible tells me to ‘fear the Lord’ I have to recreate my idea of ‘fear’. Fear isn’t lack of intimacy or abandonment or failure haunting us until we crack with terror. Fear is respect, awe, humility and trust. If I can recognize God as being the ultimate in power, wisdom and love, then to fear him isn’t a scary feeling, it can be simple peace in being shown step by step how to do God’s will. It can be trust even in scary situations, trust that there will be another meal if I choose to fast or at least curb my fast food intake. Trust that I will be provided for if I give 10% of my income back to God. Trust that the responsibility he has placed in my care to manage will be managed well because He wills it so. There is no need to deny anything if I am truly desirous to be disciplined. Trusting is so much less exhausting than manipulating my surroundings or denying God’s reality. When you understand the fear of the Lord you will find the knowledge of God. Trust me. Or rather…trust Him.

It is very common to minimize what is working well and exaggerate what is not working in our lives. We may not accept compliments well or are not able to simply say ‘your welcome’ when someone thanks us. Are you the type to explain that the beautiful blouse was on sale or the gift wasn’t really what you wanted to give but you couldn’t afford the REAL gift, or the good job you did wasn’t really as good as you would’ve, could’ve, should’ve done?

To minimize what is working well in our daily performance, appearance, ways in which we show kindness, is minimizing God’s work in our lives. We confuse Humility with minimizing His work. We do not need to be ego-driven when we have a solid relationship with God; when we are strong in faith we know EVERYTHING we do well gives glory to Him. Keep these three truths with you this week…

1. You are doing better than you think you are.

2. Your life means more than you think it does.

3. It is less about you than you think it is. It is all about God and the work that He is doing.

I encourage you to maximize yourself this week. Don’t justify, over-explain or guffaw at the compliments you get. Just allow God to work through you and thank Him for the chance at a job well done.

I am reading the book “The 4:8 Principle” by Tommy Newberry, which was recommended by one of my mentors. In it Newberry explains how we can take the verse Philippians 4:8, and apply it to our lives as positive thinking. At first glance I laughed at the thought of a ‘self-help’ book to help me find my joy.

Luckily, my ego has learned it best to remain humble so I gave it a shot and am learning wonderful techniques in order to be grateful for my blessings from God. I have always been a conspiracy theorist and glass half empty kinda gal. But as I read this book, a glimmer of hope started shining through my brick wall. “When you bring your thinking into the domain of your conscious, creative control, you will rapidly discover what an enormous advantage you have in sculpting the conditions of your life.” Can positive thinking really change the circumstances we have put ourselves in?
I had always been someone who scoffed at the ‘power of positive thinking’. Sounds a whole lot like a daytime talk-show host who is trying to take over the world if you ask me. But when I can see it from a Christian viewpoint it makes perfect sense. In order to see the blessings in our life, we need to be always grateful to God for those blessings. When we read the whine in David’s voice in some of the Psalms (“Why hast thou forsaken me?”) we, the reader, know that God never abandoned David and God doesn’t abandon us. Logically, we know this, but emotionally when we are in the midst of discontent and thus far from God we forget that we are the ones that strayed, not He.

 Deuteronomy 31:8 “God is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t worry.”

We need daily reminders of this fact; God is with us and He blesses us. I listed my responses in my personal journal to these questions from Newberry’s book over the course of three days and my peace of mind and light heart are all the proof I need to know the power of positive thinking is a real thing to strive for.

What are five of my strengths or positive traits?
What are five of my best achievements so far?
What five things am I looking forward to in the next seven days?
Try it for three days…what’s the least that can happen-that you end up feeling better?

The serenity prayer is known and said by many (including myself!) on a daily basis. I am sharing the additional verses for you. Note the word “reasonably” in the last request and remember God gives us moments of happiness and contentment, not because we deserve them, but to refresh us on the journey home. May you have peace tonight.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr