I’ve lived with the emotion Fear for most of my life. It manifested itself in numerous ways, mainly anger, procrastination and denial. Denial is the worst. The human condition is so good at twisting reality, we can pretty much think whatever we want and trick ourselves into a life God didn’t want for us. I have lived through Proverbs 5:21-23 “For a man’s ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths. The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.” I would have died from my lack of discipline. Too many people are led astray by their own great folly. My drug of choice was food but dontcha know I loved me some alcohol to further the fantasy and a good shopping spree to deepen the denial that I did not have it all together. When I read that Americans are estimated to spend $604 billion going out to eat and then another $5.9 billion on weight loss products it seems like a fat waste of money, and not very disciplined.
When the bible tells me to ‘fear the Lord’ I have to recreate my idea of ‘fear’. Fear isn’t lack of intimacy or abandonment or failure haunting us until we crack with terror. Fear is respect, awe, humility and trust. If I can recognize God as being the ultimate in power, wisdom and love, then to fear him isn’t a scary feeling, it can be simple peace in being shown step by step how to do God’s will. It can be trust even in scary situations, trust that there will be another meal if I choose to fast or at least curb my fast food intake. Trust that I will be provided for if I give 10% of my income back to God. Trust that the responsibility he has placed in my care to manage will be managed well because He wills it so. There is no need to deny anything if I am truly desirous to be disciplined. Trusting is so much less exhausting than manipulating my surroundings or denying God’s reality. When you understand the fear of the Lord you will find the knowledge of God. Trust me. Or rather…trust Him.