“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-10

We all have the gift of salvation; it’s just a matter of accepting it, applying it and doing what we are told. The problem with so many Christians (me included thrice!) is the ability to decipher what is from God and what is from our own will.

In the story of Martha and her sister Mary in Luke 10:38-41, it is illustrated that Martha is upset because she has just busted her tail to serve Jesus and his disciples and her lazy sister didn’t lift a finger to help. She hung out, shootin’ the breeze with Jesus, givin’ him a foot rub and listening to his stories, gettin’ all the attention, all the glory and to top it off, Jesus tells Martha she is the one who needs to change her ways, not Mary.

The way I see it is Mary was open and willing to LISTEN. She spent real time with Jesus, not rushing to serve out of gain of outside approval or pride or fear or ego but Mary had such a desire to hear what Jesus had to teach she ignored the distractions and gained what was better, a peace and serenity in the knowledge that she is saved by grace not by anything she could do but simply because she was a child of God.

I often forget to listen. I get wrapped up in the duties of the day and the need to present myself as someone trustworthy and responsible who succeeds at everything she tries. Ego tricks me into thinking I need to be doing rather than listening. When I remember to stop, pray and then stay stopped long enough to listen for a moment it’s amazing what grace I obtain from God.

“You will learn the full meaning of ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” BB pg 153.
This concept of loving my fellows has gotten easier working a twelve step program. I love them so much more than anyone save my immediate family. We have a connection and a trust that surpasses any relationship I’ve obtained thus far. Much of this freedom to love as myself is due to the anonymity of our format but it’s more than that. I see that my how fellows do whatever it takes to recover. And we all do it together, we all practice the same principles and even when we have different beliefs or politics it’s known in our program that those opinions and worldly perceptions are not as important as our recovery and our connection to a higher power. I struggle with the church fellows. I trust some, but not all. I am looking at their various behaviors and passing judgments and deciding who to trust through the judgments and not through blind faith and security like in the rooms of recovery. Why is that? How do I learn to trust which will allow me to love them without judgment? I need to omit the fear out of the whole thing. I do not fear in how. I get strength from my fellows and the format and God-the God that wants me to succeed, not only in recovery but in all areas of my life. The fear and the unknowing of what’s to come is blocking the sunlight of the spirit to shine on me to love my church fellows the way I love how fellows. I’m so grateful I have program to keep me focused, to remind me how I need to think act and be. No other recovery program will work for me!

I’ve heard a lot of Pastors and spiritual leaders mention this idea of a “holy hangover” in reference to the day or so after a big ticket weekend such as Easter.  This past weekend at our small church in the sticks we were fortunate enough to experience such a hangover.  The motivation God granted us and the willingness to work extra hard at invitations and special promos (coffee anyone?) paid off with bigger attendance and new and renewed commitments to Christ.  We are able to rest all the while reminding each other why we do what we do-to reach people for Jesus.  If I live today to the best of my ability and I am to live til tomorrow, chances are I’ll be able to live well then, so there is no need to worry about it before it arrives. 

Before I recovered from a disease of addiction and co-dependency, the holy hangover consisted of the morning after filled with remorse and shame and despair.  I was never going to get out of the pit I had dug for myself, nor did I deserve to.  A life filled with service and an attitude of gratitude afforded me a life of usefulness I had never experienced before. 

Keep a check on selfishness, dishonesty, fear and resentment by asking God to remove them immediately. Turn my thoughts to helping someone in need and practice pity, patience and tolerance. Simple but not always easy, but one day at a time a new life was created.  Getting involved in organizations I care about allowed me that new life.  I am forever grateful for my church home in the sticks. Grateful for the new kind of hangover.