Faith is akin to electricity. We cannot see it but we can see what it can do. We cannot see the Holy Spirit but we see how lives are changed through it. When we are in tune with God’s will for our life the changes can be recognized and then examined as truth. As I celebrate four years of back to back abstinence from my drug of choice, sugar, I am so grateful that I believe. Not only that God is here but that he wants to work through me. This gives me peace and hope and purpose.

Why is it then that I can still have emotional binges and freak out at the enormity of a task unmanageable or a fear projected? And why in tarnation must I revert back to reacting rather than responding to trials and hiccups in my day? Proper time and energy into daily scripture and prayer helps to solidify the intention for each day, just like pushing myself to bike into town rather than drive, we need to push ourselves to look beyond ourselves in order to grow. Often I find myself in the catch 22 of feeling too busy, thereby foregoing morning exercise-physical or spiritual, which creates less productive time because I waste it worrying instead of praying.

Fear is disloyalty to God. When I fear, I am not trusting that I am really being cared for, that I’m loved by our Father, that the feeling and troubles will be worked out. We need to work in the natural for God to work in the supernatural. I used to pray to wake up one day thin. Due to my action in the natural, by following a plan and program to have clear boundaries with sugar, God has provided the supernatural of honest relief from the obsession of the tasty morsel of a hot fudge brownie atop a mound of ice cream. This is a miracle I have seen, felt but have absolutely no idea how it happened. Not by my own volition that I know. There must be a current running through me that I need to honor by taking care of my life; physically, emotionally and spiritually. This is how I learn grace and gratitude.