Psalms 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?
I admit it. A big fear of mine is disapproval. How will I be seen by others? The biggest lesson I’ve had in the last 6 months is that I cannot afford to be self-seeking. This is not the same as being selfish, although I battle selfishness as well. I cannot afford to seek approval in order to feel good about myself. I cannot afford to be performance based instead of biblically based.
We are continually getting messages from society starting at a really young age (Hello Disney!) Messages that I need to care about being the most intelligent, the prettiest, the most thoughtful and understanding person in the room. This is a misnomer. Not because it isn’t good to be intelligent and pretty and thoughtful and understanding, those are very good qualities to strive for, but as women in general and in ministry specifically, we get into a cycle of competition and rivalry that goes against what God’s vision is for our lives.
The reason I can’t care what others think of me is because when I am self-seeking my focus is either on me or you or the lady down the road with the bmw and the mba able to get a tcby (are those yogurt stands even still around?) without gaining an ounce and not on who the focus needs to be on: God and the people far from him.
So I think of Psalms 27:1 when I get caught in the trap of seeking outside approval. I key back into the mission God has called me to, keying into where I fit at church, at home, at work. In the end I am just one small person in one small church in one small city in one small state in one small country in one small continent in one small world. It’s not so scary when I remember my place. I can be excellent for God, not for anyone else.